Snarky Behavior

Today my oldest (step)-sister went into labor 16 weeks early with twins. This is the second time she has experienced complications in a second trimester pregnancy, the first of which resulted in miscarriage.

She is a social worker in Oakland, working with the police to intervene in domestic disputes, to help families sort out their problems and serve the best interests of women and children in crappy environments.

I don’t know what will happen with these infants when they are born. I do know the doctors were trying to prevent my sister from going into labor for at least the next three weeks so that they could develop a bit more. I think that they are about 6 pounds lighter than what would be ideal, and their lungs especially are underdeveloped to survive on their own outside of the womb.

It’s hard being so far away at a time like this. It’s hard enough empathizing with a woman during childbirth, let alone one that has already suffered a miscarriage. But it’s especially hard for me to center my emotions relative to my step-sister, someone with whom I didn’t have much of a relationship growing up, but have learned to admire and appreciate in our adult years.

There was a time when my dad, sister and I entered her life, with all of our intricacies and problems. We shared a roof with her for her last two years of high-school, and she’s since told me she didn’t know what to make of me, a nerdy little 9-year old with my Ninja Turtles and Troll dolls.

Even though we kept our space while we lived together, we’ve since come to recognize a shared bond vis-a-vis our respective relationship with our (shared) parents. And that’s the bond that makes us care for one another, and share with one another, and hope for one another.

So today I’m thinking about her, and her husband, and my future niece and nephew, and wishing and hoping for them all.

UPDATE:

Carrie had twins yesterday afternoon. The girl is Olive Hope Maynard at 4 lb 7 oz and the boy is Joe Wiley Maynard at 4 lbs 2 oz. Carrie had labor and push for 1.5 hrs and ended up with a C section. Mother is doing great. Joe is fine but on forced ventilation. Both are expected to be in the hospital for about a month.